Tackling Clogged Drains and Sinks

Nobody ever notices the kitchen sink is slow until it’s too late. Suddenly, I’m elbow-deep in gross water, and everyone’s blaming me for dinner being ruined or their toothbrush missing (why is there always a toothbrush in the sink?). People act like drains are magic portals where you can dump anything and it’ll just disappear.

Drain Snake and Homemade Drain Cleaners

Honestly, most of the time, you can avoid paying a plumber if you just use a cheap drain snake. Or, if you’re desperate, a bent wire hanger. I’ve done both. The trick is to twist, not stab, or you’ll destroy the trap and then you’ve got a real problem. Usually, one spin pulls up something that looks like it came from a horror movie.

Homemade drain cleaner? Sure, why not. I’m so tired of people yelling about “baking soda versus salt.” I do three parts baking soda, one part vinegar. Run hot water first—got that from my ex-wife’s cousin (he’s a plumber, or at least he says he is) and, more reliably, Consumer Reports. Fizz, wait, rinse. Sometimes it works great. Sometimes, nothing. At least it doesn’t stink up the kitchen or melt the pipes like those blue chemical gels.

And can people stop putting eggshells down the drain? No cleaner is going to fix that. If you want to get rid of the stink, just clean the disposal, don’t shove lemon peels in there and hope for the best. That’s not how any of this works.

When to Avoid Chemical Drain Cleaners

I saw someone dump half a jug of that bright yellow “Guaranteed Powerful!” stuff down their utility sink last winter. Didn’t do a thing. I’ve replaced pipes that were literally paper-thin from years of that junk. Manufacturers love to say it’s “safe for pipes,” but then why am I constantly finding pipes swollen or leaking exactly where someone poured it last month?

Most plumbers I know only use chemical drain cleaners as a last resort, and even then, they suit up like they’re handling toxic waste. The American Society of Plumbing Engineers flagged a study—over 60% of pipe corrosion complaints were from repeated chemical cleaning. Not made up. These cleaners aren’t for old pipes, and they don’t do anything for actual solid blockages.

If your sink keeps backing up or you hear weird gurgling when the dishwasher runs, don’t dump another bottle in. Shut off the water, clear the junk out of the way, and just call someone who knows what they’re doing before you end up with a geyser. I’ve never met a single plumber who recommends chemical openers for regular use, and if one tells you otherwise, I’d question their credentials.

* ASPE “Residential Plumbing Failures and Systemic Corrosion Incidence,” Technical Report, 2023.

Handling Frozen Pipes Safely

Frozen pipes. Fantastic. There’s nothing like waking up to knocking radiators and realizing your shower is a block of ice. Thawing them or, even better, preventing them from freezing in the first place—yeah, it’s boring, but plumbers are right: do it right or get ready for a mop and a lot of swearing.

Steps to Thaw Frozen Pipes

Hair dryers, salt, space heaters jammed under the sink—I’ve seen it all, and most of it ends in disaster. Plumbers (the real kind, not your neighbor) always say: shut off the main water valve first. No exceptions. Blue Bear Services blog claims a burst pipe can dump 250 gallons a day. Enough to turn your basement into a pool, basically.

Finding the actual frozen spot is never as easy as it sounds. I’ve tapped on pipes, feeling like Sherlock, and still missed it. What works? Wrapping towels soaked in hot water around the exposed pipe, or a heating pad. Never, ever use an open flame. Unless you want a fire truck in your driveway at 2 a.m.

Heated tape is criminally underused. One plumber told me most emergency thaw jobs could be avoided if people just used heating tape and actually attached it properly. A space heater (not right up against the pipe, please) helps too, especially in crawl spaces. Pipes are petty and will freeze at the one spot you forget.

Preventing Future Freezing

Pipe insulation sounded like a hassle, but after seeing the average water damage claim—over ten grand, thanks, State Farm—I caved. I started double-wrapping the kitchen lines, then just kept going. Key spots: attics, under sinks, exterior walls. I even insulated the shut-off valve. Why not?

A plumber in Minneapolis (he claims fish fries are the best thing about winter, which, sure) told me to let faucets drip in deep cold, but not more than a trickle or your water bill will make you cry. Leaving cabinet doors open? Annoying, but it actually worked for my under-sink pipe last January. I tripped over pots, but at least the pipes didn’t freeze.

Maintenance is a pain—I forget, you’ll forget, but once a year, check for cracks, add caulk, set a phone reminder. Nobody ever remembers the outdoor bibs until it’s too late, but draining those and installing frost-proof models saves a ton of headaches. Upgrading insulation or heating cables seems overkill until you’re ankle-deep in water at midnight.